TheWriteStuff

Words. Cascading in trembling thought. Choked-up upon the memories, merging ideas, living...

Wed, 13 Apr 2011 02:19:21 -0400

Words.

Cascading in trembling thought.

Choked-up upon the memories,

merging ideas,

living nightmares.

Nerves are edged and frayed.

Tears clog my eyes.

Shakes have shakes,

and tension is pull razor sharp.

Gag for release.

Gasp for release.

Gurgle, hiss, moan, weep.

Release.

Of words.

My head is full of thoughts full of feelings full of words full of meanings full to choking on...

Thu, 03 Feb 2011 18:34:49 -0500

My head is full of thoughts

full of feelings

full of words

full of meanings

full to choking on everything

that I cannot begin to express

it’s a sadness cornered in my eyes

the weak beat of my heart

the anxious run of blood through my veins

say my name

pet me, comfort me

turn off these thoughts

turn off this brain

if not, I fear

I’ll drive myself insane

Want. My slithery friend. Living inside of me. Unsatisfied and hungry. Yearning and in need. Of...

Thu, 06 Jan 2011 22:55:48 -0500

Want. My slithery friend. Living inside of me. Unsatisfied and hungry. Yearning and in need. Of caressing. Of kissing. Of suckling and kneading. Of pressure and quick breath. Mouth dry. Lips wet. I cannot contain these urges you bring me. I want.

A memory.

Sun, 11 Jul 2010 16:22:46 -0400

I had never been one for God, thought often in childhood I was brought to his house. I recall one summer, stuck daily in a christian day camp. Projects and songs and stories and lessons about God all faint recollections…

What I remember most is the blackberry bush.

Heavy with ripe berries we were warned not to eat.

Like Adam and Eve, we listened.

With nimble child fingers we stuffed our little mouths full enjoying the taste of the fruit as quickly as we could without getting caught.

I still feel satisfyingly wicked when I eat them.

Be rough with me

Sat, 17 Apr 2010 10:37:30 -0400

It’s not sexual

It’s not violent

But the electricity was there

Thrumming through the palms of his hands

And into the flesh of my neck

It wasn’t threatening

I could still breathe

It was a moment of a joke

And we were surrounded by a crowd

But I went to my own little place

And I wanted it

These little power games

That we played with flesh and mind

And no one ever got to win.

It took me a long time to let go of the idea of getting you back (one way or another). It took me...

Fri, 05 Feb 2010 09:54:25 -0500

It took me a long time to let go of the idea of getting you back (one way or another). It took me more time to just be okay with how things went between us.

I can look inside myself now and know that I don’t love you. I don’t know if that means I never did love you, or if my idea of love has greatly matured with time and through finding someone I can truly share my heart… my life with.

I would be okay with being your acquaintance. Perhaps even your friend. Though, I’m torn. Part of me, still cheering for that girl that gave up so much time and energy on you, wants to you regret not being the one in my life. It would make us even, wouldn’t it? I spent so much time waiting while you lived your life? Now you can wait forever knowing there will never be a chance again for whatever we were going to be. The other part of me knows that if you do still harbor feelings for me, I couldn’t be your friend. Your thoughts as well as your hands could never stay idle for long. So which would I rather? Finding out I wasn’t as big a role in your life and you were in mine, be friends and gain another person I can communicate with. Or to find out you still want me and having to cut you completely out again.

I think we’re going to be friends. I don’t think you really loved me that much after all.

good question

Sun, 24 Jan 2010 04:22:42 -0500

her: i am an indecisive woman. what can i say.
him: hmm. indecisive. ok. i wont hold my breath on waiting for you then?
her: not that kind of indecisive.
him: sure?
her: very.
him: really?
her: yes. really. believe me?
him: maybe.
her: dork.
him: geek..
her: yes?
him: ha. well. i could be cruel.
her: ohreally.
him: mhmm.
her: .. go ahead.
him: hmm. well. if your so sure, please explain who's sleeping next to you at night.

please.

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 07:16:59 -0500

stop making me fall in love with you.

what the fuck. what am i supposed to do? my chest hurts. i’m lost.

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 00:32:13 -0500

what the fuck. what am i supposed to do? my chest hurts. i’m lost.

how do you decide between something that is yours and something that should be yours?

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 04:20:58 -0500

how do you decide between something that is yours and something that should be yours?

My heart screams. A lack of creativity. The brainstorm is a storm inside my head. Outside it lingers...

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 13:39:38 -0500

My heart screams. A lack of creativity. The brainstorm is a storm inside my head. Outside it lingers and quickly is dead. I wish I could write the words to move your mind and heart. Unfortunately as it is… I just don’t know how to start.

i worry about everything. i worry that i’m not going to become anything. i worry that...

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 09:10:03 -0400

i worry about everything. i worry that i’m not going to become anything. i worry that i’m running out of time. i worry that i don’t participate enough, that my friends don’t really like me, that i’m too crazy, that i’m not crazy enough, that i’m too fat, that i’ll never change, that everything will change, that i’ll never get a job i love, that my boy only loves me as long as there’s no one else to love. i worry that my sisters don’t miss me, that my father doesn’t think of me, that my mother will try and be my friend again, that my grandmother will forget why she loves me, that my aunt will lose contact. i worry that money will always be be a problem, that money is too important, that happiness isn’t important enough, that people don’t live for themselves, that i’ll never live for myself. i worry that i spend too much time worrying about all these things rather than either resolving them or moving beyond. there is so much beyond. why can’t i just move?

The words have lost me. Or I have lost the words. Things of meaning that so easily would come to...

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 00:02:19 -0400

The words have lost me.

Or I have lost the words.

Things of meaning that so easily would come to me,

at a time when everything was so much bigger than it was.

Mature now.

Happy now.

But lingering on a memory…

Of movement, spiritual movement…

a transcendent experience…

that had little to do with gods

and everything to do with being human and alive.

Connected.

To everything.

I know it more so now, but feel it less.

The electricity between me and the world is dull.

My wires are frayed.

Did part of me shut down?

Or am I just rebooting?

The words.

I can’t find the words.

The words can’t find me.

crash boom bang mother fucker. i’m sick of the struggle, of the fight, of the anger. you want...

Sun, 04 Oct 2009 07:20:26 -0400

crash boom bang mother fucker.
i’m sick of the struggle, of the fight, of the anger.
you want to argue, bring it on but it is not the way
we make this better. i need you, i need you to stay,
i need you to stay the fuck away. how about that?
another bourbon, another tequila, another nameless
bed warmer. you want a problem? i got a problem. i
got your problem right here. look at this face, because
it is going to cause you a world of hurt… just stay away.

I keep you locked away in a box a vessel for the dead so that you cannot escape and invade my...

Fri, 02 Oct 2009 11:04:39 -0400

I keep you locked away in a box
a vessel for the dead
so that you cannot escape
and invade my life.
But lately you’ve been slipping
through the cracks,
or ‘round the hinges,
or past the keyhole,
and taking over my thoughts.
You push your way out,
and push your way in,
Just like you always do,
just like you always did.
I check that box all the time
to make sure you are still
incarcerated,
but bits and pieces of you keep
fleeing your little coffin
and entering the land of the
living
where you do not belong.

(JLP)

today, i reinvent myself. tomorrow, who knows.

Sun, 27 Sep 2009 03:24:11 -0400

Smut and Cherries

Sun, 20 Sep 2009 19:24:00 -0400

It’s a hot summer day and the air tastes of fire and nectar. I’m somebody’s mirage as soon as I hit the blacktop, disjointed and out-of-focus. A human heat-haze.

I staggered the other day, feeling as hot and dazzled and hungry as a flame, into the air-conditioned bright-lit supermarket and felt the gloriously AC’ed air bustle around me like some coolly efficient, utterly sterile nurse, seeing to my flushed skin and sore feet.

There were cherries, a great wide shallow steel bowl of them. The metal felt like ice on my wrist as I reached in and snagged a single gleaming cherry by the stem. Black-red it was, and perfectly ripe, just firm enough that the slight give of the skin seemed an insinuation, an invitation.

It was cool on my lips and it split and burst between my teeth like the sudden comprehension of a truly erotic innuendo. It was rich as velvet, bright as sunlight and cool as night, decadent as silk drawn across bare skin and with that same tart edge of almost-pain. My eyes slid closed and I made a sound of pure, but not quite innocent, pleasure.

Pretty much downhill from there. I was almost embarassed after that, in public, to lick the juice from my lips because it had felt like a kiss, nuances of flavor nudging themselves into secret places where some primal need made room for them. I thought, helplessly, of sweaty skin and the always-shocking intimacy of hands under clothing. I thought of turning to some stranger with this sweet, perfect lust staining my lips and offering them to be licked.

I thought of summer fucking, all wet and heat and sweat and exhibitionistic pleasure of feeling a cool breeze highlight everything your lover sees. Thought that the burst of pleasure of a hot wet mouth closing over a nipple felt very much like the way that cherry had exploded against my tougne.

Thought, God damn, you touch me I’ll burst like that, I’ll get into you and under you and take your cock into me like the first taste of a summer cherry and we’ll fuck until we’re both consumed.

I spat the pit into the garbage can provided and grabbed a handful to eat while I did my shopping. When I changed for work, I realized I’d gotten as juicy as the fruit I’d been eating. I touched myself, purred, and smiled a secret smile that stayed all day.

~ KIssedBySadness

my entire body aches. from my toenails to the tips of my hair. i don’t know how much longer i...

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 04:50:18 -0400

my entire body aches. from my toenails to the tips of my hair. i don’t know how much longer i can do this.

A note from the drowning...

Mon, 07 Sep 2009 00:05:23 -0400

I feel like sinking. Drowning in the words I am choking on in that back of my throat. My tear ducts scream threats to let lose, burning behind lids when closed tight. My accusations are pointless, for we are strangers and you owe me nothing. It isn’t your fault… you didn’t know… I eagerly gave a part of myself to you and you let it die. Let it down. I’m just trying to reach out, to make a connection… but desperate pleas sound so much like breaking bubbles.

All I want is a lifesaver.

All I want is for someone to care.

My life just wasn’t working everything was bad it might have been the booze or the stuff that...

Sat, 05 Sep 2009 17:27:34 -0400

My life just wasn’t working

everything was bad

it might have been the booze

or the stuff that kept me sad

all I knew that moment

was the trigger and the gun

just one bullet neatly placed

and I’d leave this “House O’Fun”

the silence was unending

the moment went too fast

when I pulled the trigger

my pain would end at last

the noise cut through the silence

the bullet through my head

and within just an instant

I realized I was dead

I could see my body

my skin a whitish grey

and I knew no one would see me smile

not another day

and though I had no tears

I could feel them yet

I knew that what I did

I always would regret

So hold on to your life, my friend

Hold it very dear

Or you will end up just like me

A lost soul trapped in despair.