It took me a long time to let go of the idea of getting you back (one way or another). It took me more time to just be okay with how things went between us.
I can look inside myself now and know that I don’t love you. I don’t know if that means I never did love you, or if my idea of love has greatly matured with time and through finding someone I can truly share my heart… my life with.
I would be okay with being your acquaintance. Perhaps even your friend. Though, I’m torn. Part of me, still cheering for that girl that gave up so much time and energy on you, wants to you regret not being the one in my life. It would make us even, wouldn’t it? I spent so much time waiting while you lived your life? Now you can wait forever knowing there will never be a chance again for whatever we were going to be. The other part of me knows that if you do still harbor feelings for me, I couldn’t be your friend. Your thoughts as well as your hands could never stay idle for long. So which would I rather? Finding out I wasn’t as big a role in your life and you were in mine, be friends and gain another person I can communicate with. Or to find out you still want me and having to cut you completely out again.
I think we’re going to be friends. I don’t think you really loved me that much after all.
